In an alternate universe, the characters of Mad Men would be great rappers with chart-topping diss tracks. The frequency with which they dropped hot, confidence-shattering burns at each other was admirable. Everyone seemed to be in the mood to put a friend, colleague, lover or rival in their place.

The fact that the show's dialogue was highly lauded by critics is no surprise. From Don Draper constantly being a smart talker at the expense of his subordinates' feelings to Peggy making men sweat, there was no shortage of well-crafted verbal attacks. The following are some of the most impressive burns on Mad Men.

10 "That's What The Money Is For!"

In Season 7's "The Monolith," Don and Peggy are working on an advertising pitch for Sampsonite suitcases late in the evening. Peggy makes sure to remind Don to know that she missed her birthday party to work on the project. She also lets him know that she isn't happy with how he received all the credit for an advertising pitch she came up with.

Don reminds her that he is her employer. Her work is to give him ideas then he pays her in return. Peggy asks why he never even says "Thank you." Don counters by stating that the salary he gives her how he shows her his gratitude. Brutal!

9 "I Laugh At You. I Go Home At Night And I Laugh At You."

A few weeks after Jimmy gets hired by Sterling Cooper to act in TV ads for Utz Potato Chips, Don begins an affair with his wife Bonnie. Jimmy comes to learn about the affair since Bonnie won't stop talking about Don. He accepts that his wife is cheating on him but still garners enough courage to confront Don.

Jimmy begins by telling Don that he is grateful that he got him everything he wanted (the TV gig) and he's even more grateful that he took his wife in return. He goes on to let Don know that he hasn't achieved anything by sleeping with Bonnie because she is a serial cheater who was merely using him to satisfy her urges

8 "If Your Tantrum Has Subsided, You're Welcome To Join Us."

Lane Pryce eventually bows out of the show in a tragic manner but before that, he gives audiences plenty of memorable moments. Most of these moments emerge from his rivalry with Pete. In Season 4's "Waldorf Stories," Pete asks Lane about a potential Geyer merger and the conversation quickly goes south.

Pete goes on a rant about how he is never consulted and how his work is never appreciated. Once again, he attempts to storm out of the room but Lane tells him that he still expects good work from him. He lets Pete know that he is welcome to join him and Cosgrove for lunch whenever he is done throwing tantrums.

7 "Spoken Like A Failure."

Trust Peggy Olson to always shoot verbal arrows at people she loves. Her relationship with Stan Rizzo is somehow toxic but the two always make it work, thanks to Stan's ability to take it all in.

In the series finale, the lovebirds talk about work. Stan tells her to try and appreciate what she has instead of always competing with people. He suggests that she be like him because he is very happy at his job. Peggy doesn't take this too kindly. She calls him out for lacking ambition before labelling him a failure. Classic Peggy Olson!

6 "There's Not One Thing You've Done Here That I Couldn't Live Without."

Peggy's ambition makes her hang around Don in the office all the time. She has made it clear before that in order to succeed, she needs to please the bosses. She even tries to sleep with Don once.

But in Season 3's "Seven Twenty Three," Don appears to have grown tired of being asked questions by Peggy all the time. He lets her know that he is tired of seeing her every time he turns around. And when she reminds him that she is very important to him, he lets her know that he could do with everything she has done so far. This isn't exactly true but Don never hesitates to burn Peggy whenever the opportunity presents itself.

5 "I'm In The Persuasion Business, And Frankly I'm Disappointed By Your Presentation."

Eugene tries to hit on Peggy in Season 2's "Flight 1" but his seduction attempts don't go so well. The problem? He is too direct? The manner in which he phrases his words isn't impressive either.

"Come home with me!" he says. When Peggy wants to know why, he adds, "Because I like you and we're having a good time and I'm a good kisser and you know you want to." Peggy lets him know that as someone who has to persuade clients each day, she is highly disappointed by his effort. A lot of viewers probably shared Peggy's disappointment too.

4 "Why Don't You Look Like Him?"

At Don's surprise birthday party, Megan does an amazing rendition of the '60s hit single Zou Bisou Bisou. Don is clearly impressed and so is everyone else at the party.

Everyone appears to be coupled up at the party and as soon as Megan is done singing, Roger asks his new bride Jane Siegel why she doesn't sing like that. Jane quickly lets out an impressive canned retort, telling Roger that maybe if he looked like Don, she'd gladly sing. Not the best way to start a marriage, we presume. What a clapback from Jane though!

3 "Dammit, Burt, You Stole My Goodbye!"

Burt Peterson was unlucky enough to be fired twice. At first, he thinks he has survived when all redundant positions are being erased, only for his bosses to tell him that they had delayed his firing because his wife was getting cancer treatment. He makes a scene while leaving, knocking things over and yelling.

He goes on to work for Chaough but finds himself back at the agency after Chaough's company merges with Sterling Cooper. This gives Roger the chance to call him to his office and fire him again. "You're a real prick, you know that?" Burt states. Roger responds as only Roger would, implying he was about to tell him the same thing.

2 "You're Just A Football Player In A Suit."

There is a reason why Season 7's mid-season finale was named "Waterloo." Like Napoleon, Don is losing in all areas of his life. He has just been slapped with a lawsuit for breach of contract. Jim Cutler sees this as the perfect chance to throw shade at him.

Jim tells Don how he and Ted would always feel intimidated whenever they heard that Sterling Cooper was gunning for a major client. But now that he has personally witnessed Don's behavior, his opinion of him has shrunk. He compares him to a football player because all he knows is how to bully people. Jim even questions Don's eloquence, adding: "The most eloquent I've ever heard you was when you were blubbering about your impoverished childhood."

1 "I Don't Think About You At All."

Michael Ginsberg quickly establishes himself as a talented copywriter at Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. Don is openly jealous of him, despite the fact that he is his junior. When Don sees Ginsberg's notes for a Sno Ball ad pitch, he tries to make a similar one but it gets rejected by the clients.

That doesn't stop him from trying to get to Ginsberg's nerves. He almost refuses to show Ginsberg's pitch to the clients, something that angers the copywriter. While confronting each other, Ginsberg tells Don that he feels sorry for him because of his childish antics, to which Don claps back with the comment above. This clearly highlight's Don's attitude. His interests always come first.

NEXT: Mad Men: 10 Coolest Vintage Cars On The Show, Ranked

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About The Author

Philip Etemesi (1316 Articles Published)

Philip Etemesi is an author, journalist, screenwriter and film critic based in Nairobi. Kenya. As a child, he preferred watching movies like The Goodfellas instead of Home Alone. His girlfriend constantly has to pull him from the front of the TV but he just keeps returning. Stubborn dude! An animal lover, Philip also has a pet giraffe called Refu.

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